Tag Archive | resistance is not futile

Hawks and Doves

Nov21

This post’s title might have been Small Mercies. The hawk in this picture flew away apparently uninjured. But the story is amazing. It happened over at the Bad Dog Ranch a couple of days ago. As told to me by the Head Bitch, who provided photos: There was that loud sickening THUNK that signifies a bird has crashed into a window, and it was a REALLY big thunk. She hurried outside to investigate and found this sharp-shinned hawk spread on the patio, alive, and a collared dove, dead, in the gravel. Because she knows what to do in a situation like this, she left the scene to give the hawk a chance to recover. After awhile it picked itself up and flew away, without its prey. Had it not, she would have gathered it gently into a box and delivered it to the closest raptor rescue or veterinarian qualified for raptor repair.

The most amazing part of the story is that the hawk left a perfect imprint on the window where it crashed. (That’s one benefit to a dusty window; another is that fewer birds tend to crash into it.) You can see the faint line of the leading edges of its spread wings to either side of the center splash, which probably represents the dove’s impact. Zoomed in a little, you can even see the outline of the hawk’s face. Look closely and you can discern its beak and even one of its eyes.

Just below the beak, there seems to be the impression of a talon, which supports my theory of what happened. The hawk’s attack feet would have been stretched out almost directly in front of its face as it caught its prey. I believe the hawk caught the dove as they smashed into the window simultaneously, the soft dove body cushioning the impact on the hawk thereby saving its life.

The last leaf has dropped from the apricot tree. I practice inner peace. It’s a choice, and it’s within reach. A hawk preying on a dove follows natural law. A rogue regime murdering civilians of other countries and preying on its own citizens is unnatural and illegal. Even as the mad dictator darkens his threats against democracy with even more reckless unconstitutional overreach, and escalates his assault on free speech with calls to muzzle media critics and execute elected representatives, it is possible to practice equanimity and compassion in one’s personal life.

Our neighbor who died recently loved to serve chocolate chip+M&M cookies, I was told, so I volunteered to bake some for her celebration of life tomorrow. There were a lot of recipe options but I chose this one from I Heart Naptime – which I also do.

Recipe for Inner Peace: Slow down. Do something kind for someone else. Allocate your attention budget wisely. Take time to nurture your heart and soul. Know what’s happening in the world but don’t drown in speculation. Choose your news sources carefully and limit daily consumption. Take action to alleviate anxiety, and remember that you don’t have to do it all, just do your small part to support the resistance. Savor joy and awe in the many ways they offer themselves. Find gratefulness in the details, and in the simple gift of waking up alive every day. Show appreciation to others every chance you get. Get enough sleep. Make time to meditate.

At the End of the Day

Nov4

A tiny delight, the shadow of the little dingo’s head on the page. I balanced my time well today, among work, housework, good works, and some escapist reading, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue.

Another tiny delight, the little bowl Amy made for me some years ago, left on the desk yesterday after a dark chocolate M&M snack, just a tiny bowlful, and today shimmering in the morning sun, catching my eye while I worked.

And yet one more tiny delight, the grapefruit tree started from seed from fruit Kathleen sent last winter. It grew too big for the grow light stand so I ordered special citrus soil which arrived today to pot it up. Now it lives in the sunroom. Someday, grapefruits!

I split some kindling and chose delight rather than frustration in the challenge of knots, which pinned the splits together several times. No need to force them apart, they’ll kindle just as well pinned.

For lunch, I roasted golden potatoes and spooned some onto the last of the Brie which melted deliciously, and topped with leftover bacon.

I could really see this afternoon how my inner state affects my outer state. It’s a foundation of mindfulness, this awareness that in any moment there are many factors that can determine our outlook and behavior, from physical, emotional and mental comfort or discomfort, to cultural norms or biases, to genetics and family of origin characteristics, to the weather. I received an email that made me very uncomfortable, and I struggled with how or whether to respond.

Would I have felt so irritated if I hadn’t earlier listened to this important conversation between two respected legal experts on the ramifications of the regime’s nearly 100 murders on the high seas over the past 61 days? Why is 61 days important? Why is this unconstitutional behavior by the White House not getting more attention? Because the people being murdered are “not American” or “not like me”? Because they are allegedly running drugs? There’s no evidence for that, just the Commander-in-Thief’s proclamation. This is yet another test: if Americans do nothing, they’ll take it as permission to fire upon any boat, eventually, anywhere. Joyce Vance and Steve Vladek unravel the complexities and urgency of the situation in a fascinating discussion.

I took the little pets for a walk and savored the lovely warm afternoon, the beauty in the woods, I cussed at a patch of small dead Russian thistle that escaped my notice and now has gone to seed, walked some more, and came in to chair an Indivisible zoom meeting. While the walk had somewhat restored my equanimity, the weed patch threw it off again, and I was still ruminating about the email when I sat down to lead the meeting.

I felt cranky, but turned my attention to gratitude to open the meeting, thereby managing to quickly switch gears and celebrate the achievements of my colleagues, who rallied in a matter of days to deliver more than $600 worth of groceries and other staples to one of the local food pantries over the weekend: Because of the starvation policy that the Lie-a-Tollah is holding over Americans to coerce surrender on the government shutdown, while he and his billionaire toadies (no offense to toads) feast ironically.

After the meeting, I continued putting up the potato harvest, roasting some for dinner, some to freeze for quick hash browns in some uncertain future. The potatoes I thought were red are indeed purple! And tasty.

While I would very much like to throw a tantrum sometimes, and cuss out people I know or more commonly those in the current regime, (or to use a more vulgar nickname for he who shall not be named), I’m an adult. I try to live according to virtuous values, and acting like a spoiled brat or a mean girl is not an option. This article in the Atlantic, “A Confederacy of Toddlers,” reminds all of us that the only way to beat this regime is to remain the adults in the room, and we each have to do that one at a time in our personal lives. We need to manage our emotions and befriend (or at least tend) our inner demons so that we don’t set them loose on everyone else. But it’s ok to have a sense of humor.

At the end of the day, which is where I am now and grateful to have made it here, especially knowing that so many people did not, and knowing one person who almost didn’t, all the personal irritations fall away, all the global uncontrollables fall away into the vast emptiness of nondual unconditioned reality… Or they at least get absorbed by watching the joyous extravaganza of the latest episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race España, which is ultimately the same thing.

Interconnected

Oct15
Little Bambino drinking from the bird bath
BLT under construction, with added basil
Using more gifted basil with leftover squash in a layered pickled salad with garden red onion and Prosecco vinegar
Rain-drenched moss glowing under juniper on evening walk
Quick pasta dinner with leftover gnocchi dough and tomatoes leftover from the BLT reduced in sage butter with a dollop of bacon fat
This morning’s joy while filling the small-bird feeder
Midafternoon walk to the sunlit canyon, playing with Hipstamatic app
A tote bag full of geraniums broken up and potted to give away at No Kings Day rally on Saturday. I’ll be keeping just one, of course

National Abusive Relationship

Oct1

I was just heading out for sunset last night when a friend from Australia called seeking help with a podcast software we both use. After I got her squared away with it, she wanted to chat so I took her out with me. The technical connection was murky, but the personal connection was delightful. We talked about the moral decay of civilization, the polycrises, the lorikeets in her birdbath, and some of our exes, and we laughed a lot. Sometimes it’s all you can do.

Prior to the broken lying man I dated briefly a few years ago, my previous relationship was with — well, another broken man — who, when I said I valued kindness above all, spit out “Kindness? I don’t even know what you mean by kindness.”

From today’s vantage point, I can see that this came from his brokenness. But he hadn’t said it in a sad way, he had dismissed my foremost core value with contempt. I should have dumped him that minute, instead of sticking around for another three years of emotional abuse.

Four decades of research by the Gottman Institute reveals that the primary destructive force in any relationship is contempt; and further, that being the recipient of contempt in a relationship is a good predictor of—this is wild—infectious disease.

Crazy Panela Mexican cheese that you can simply slice and FRY! So I put the last of the beans in a tortilla, added a fried circle of Panela…

Sadly, I’ve been in a number of emotionally abusive relationships. This likely accounts for my now being happily single for so long; and, it also gives me firm ground from which to point out that the American people are in an abusive relationship with their president.

… a fried egg, roasted green chiles…

The lying, meanness, belittling, controlling, gaslighting and contempt I’ve experienced with past partners have parallels in everything this president does. America is in a national abusive relationship with its President. America, he won’t give it up: It’s up to you to extricate yourself from it. It’s not easy to admit how thoroughly you’ve been fooled, how completely you’ve allowed your values to be undermined to the point that you’re willing to hurt yourself and your loved ones just to keep him happy.

… a few corn chips for crunch and a splash of salsa, and fold the whole thing up like a Taco Bell crunchwrap.

I’m retraumatized every time I hear about the president’s performative cruelty, because I see it for what it is. So I’m retraumatized daily, and have to be careful how much of my attention budget I spend on the brilliant satires and shocked screeds that others are writing about his mental collapse, the brittle reports of each bite his regime takes out of the Constitution, the flagrant corruption of the Supreme Court, the complicity of legacy media and the oligarchy, and that’s just the tip of the shitshow.

After years of trying, I’m finally able to feel compassion for those who naively believed his lies, who felt a want, a lack, a need in their lives that they believed he and only he could fulfill. I imagine that some who voted for him weren’t voting based on hatred, mysogyny, and white supremacy, but on their very real needs: economic needs, a sense of security, a feeling of safety or belonging… and so they chose to believe the lies, despite some inner ick that tried to warn them.

I empathize with their longing for someone with seeming strength and certainty to make everything okay, and I understand the sense of betrayal they are starting to experience. I wish that they may find true relief from their suffering. It won’t come from piling more anger, hatred, cruelty and violence on top of what’s already being done in their name. May they come to see reality clearly, forgive themselves for their delusions, and walk away from this abusive relationship before it completely destroys their lives.

Cuddles and Humor

Mar2

I’m grateful today for cuddles, and for humor, and for mindfulness skills helping me to navigate a personal sadness with an open heart. A friend asked if I was planning to write about the public humiliation of the United States of America by its co-presidents and vice president on Friday in the Oval Office. I said probably not, because there are plenty of great minds and voices commenting on it, and I didn’t watch it at the time, nor can I bring myself to watch any of it, except for this clip shared by American Muckrakers.

You can tap the replay circle in the bottom left and watch this as many times as you need to. To be clear, I don’t condone violence. I do condone therapeutic humor. You can support Ukraine directly at this vetted link.

Breathing

Mar1

Today’s the first day of meteorological spring in the northern hemisphere, and perhaps not coincidentally, yesterday was Tibetan New Year, the Year of the Wood Snake. At Mirador, no snakes yet, but spring is popping in the garden.

Wren, Topaz and I ventured through the woods a couple of times this week despite the mud, and enjoyed breathing the fresh spring air. Wren’s nose enjoyed it the most, as there were many enticing scents on the breeze. I enjoyed it because an unexpected side effect of the hip surgery seems to be that my breathing is easier than it’s been in years. It makes sense, with the pain and constriction relieved, that my breath flows more freely.

Tiny cabbages took only five days to sprout and their first set of true leaves are now budding. The onions took a few days longer, and just yesterday the fennel seeds finally sprouted. The garden roller coaster begins its slow, winding climb upward.

I baked a nearly perfect coffee cake Thursday. You know what that means. I’ll have to try again in order to perfect it. It’s been a busy week, between work and the resistance and a couple of appointments. One was to an allergist in the city, and I left extra early because of construction on the highway. Because I didn’t relish the prospect of being away all day, I set my intention to PBS (Pause, Breathe, Smile, whether you need to or not). It was easy: I listened to ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me’ the first half of the drive up there so I was laughing most of the way. I gave oncoming cars and the flag persons big smiles and happy waves. It felt great. I relaxed and enjoyed the gorgeous day, and kept afflictive thoughts at bay.

No one on the road could see that I wore my ‘Drag is Not a Crime’ ball cap, but the nurse who marked me up for allergy testing saw it and said “I like your hat!” This opened the door for a heartwarming conversation in which she said something that really touched me, “You’re safe here.”

Safe politically, maybe, but then she proceeded to stab me fifty-seven times! She was so sweet. She said, “Let me know if you need a break,” as each pinprick stung down the first side, “but I’m pretty fast.” She was. She got them all done in less than five breaths. I was grateful for the skill of mindful breathing, relaxing my body and breath, inhaling slowly, exhaling slower, and bringing curiosity to the sensations rather than resistance.

After a short fifteen minute wait, a different nurse came in to read my back, and I was mightily surprised to learn that I’m not allergic to any of the fifty-four common allergens they tested for. On the top left, marked H for Histamine, is the welt that indicates the tests are working, and below that a C for Control. While some of the pricks look more annoyed than others they all rated the same small measurement indicating no significant reaction. This was great news on the one hand because I’m not allergic to cats, dogs, sagebrush, or juniper, but perplexing on the other hand, because I still don’t know what’s causing allergy symptoms. Oh well. Probably nothing that’s gonna kill me.

As I was leaving, the sweet young nurse said, “I hope you’re okay.” I knew she didn’t mean my allergies. We picked up our political conversation, and she said she and her husband are trying to do things but it doesn’t feel like much. I told her, “Everyone who is doing anything needs to do a little bit more, and everyone who isn’t doing anything needs to do something. We’ll get through this.” I recommended Indivisible.org to her, and told her I’d email her a few more helpful links. I gave her a spontaneous hug and she said, “I needed that.” I’m grateful that my Drag hat sparked a meaningful encounter and an opportunity to spread the resistance. I bought the hat years ago from ACLU, where there’s plenty of provocative merchandise that supports their great work. Wearing something even as subtle as a Drag hat is a great way to connect, and grow the resistance one conversation at a time. Just as we keep growing ourselves, one breath at a time.

Interbeing

Feb23
Meeting little Wren for the first time in person, at the shelter in GJ. She was beat up from fighting the cage she was kept in, skinny, and just spayed.

Wren’s life flashed before my eyes this afternoon. It was another gorgeous day, and I’d been working in the yarden, hanging laundry, catching up with people in phone calls, telling an old friend how good she is, how fast she comes when I whistle, every time, that’s she’s an oxytocin factory. I walked outside the gate to place an ornamental rock on the newly created pedestals of a fire mitigation stump. I read a text, then whistled for Wren. She tends to race up the driveway and get caught up in smells, so I walked a little way up, past the badger hole, whistling and calling. Nothing. Minutes elapsed. Never, not once, in the nearly three years she’s been with me has she failed to come running by the second whistle. Panic rose in me. Another couple of minutes calling, looking. It felt unreal. The only reason she would not come would be that she could not come. I imagined her killed in an instant by a bobcat or lion, or caught in a barbed wire fence. My life without her loomed too horrible to imagine. What made it even worse was that since I only stepped outside the fence for a moment, I hadn’t put on her ID collar… if someone found her, alive or…

Later that first day, as Garden Buddy drove us home from the shelter…

I called my best neighbors north and south to enlist a search party. Then, and only then, did I breathe, pause, and consider alternatives. I’ve become so accustomed to her stealth accompaniment with my every move that I often call her and she’s right behind me. Could she possibly be inside? So I hurried down to the house, opened the door, and there she was bouncing up and down, so relieved to see me, though not nearly as relieved as I was to see her precious face. I canceled the Wred alert, with gratitude knowing that my neighbors would be as relieved as I, and not annoyed with my calling for help. That’s what we do, and we all share the joy in a happy outcome.

Later this day, GB brought us a bag of goodies, and asked me to never write about the badger hole again.

That my go-to was panic when I couldn’t find Wren speaks to the underlying tension many of us are living with these days. A month ago it would have occurred to me much sooner that she was probably in the house. I am far better internally resourced to handle the stress of this hostile administrative coup than I was during the first regime, but all that means is that the anxiety isn’t crippling, not that it isn’t there. I’m hearing more specific accounts of people who’ve lost their jobs to the DOGE axe (including a fired federal worker who is now suicidal – I’m sure he’s not the only one), and the offensive letters they’ve been fired with. But I keep coming back to the message of courage and resilience as I also speak with more people each day who are jumping on the action bandwagon. Resistance is not futile: in fact, our future depends on it.

Sustenance after the scare: havarti, romaine, avocado, potato chip crumbs, mayo and mustard.

This morning I listened to a fabulous talk by Rebecca Solnit, about MLK, interconnectedness, climate chaos, and the nihilist ideology of isolationism and authoritarianism, among other things. She wraps it up with a marvelous message of interdependence and belonging. I also downloaded an app suggested by a friend, which makes it super easy to call your representatives: it provides scripts on a wide range of concerns, and even dials for you: “5 Calls – Contact Your Congress.” Resistbot is another good app to use to send letters to your reps. Spread the word, and remember the economic blackout this Friday, from midnight to midnight. Don’t spend money for one day. Let’s see what happens. I’m grateful for comprehending interdependence, and the feeling of belonging, of interbeing, that arises from that understanding.

Cabbages and Kings

Feb21

I’m grateful today to see all the sweet cabbage seedlings which have sprouted since I planted the seeds five days ago. A few had started popping up yesterday, and this morning many!

But my moments of delight are few and far between, corrupted by increasing dread and anger, fueled in large measure by the absolute failure of US media to do their job as the Fourth Estate: “The hallmark of the fourth estate is that it scrutinises the actions of public officials and political institutions in the interest of the public, serving as a watchdog that holds the other three estates (the legislation, the executive and the judiciary) accountable for their actions.” Can you imagine the uproar if Biden or Obama (or possibly even George W) had claimed to be a king and released official images of himself wearing a crown? There would have been a media feeding frenzy like giant piranhas over a donkey carcass.

I spend more and more of my waking hours each day consciously transforming a simmering rage into more helpful and beneficial actions, thoughts, and emotions. It’s exhausting. This is the strategy of the coup plotters, to overwhelm and exhaust. My aversion is so strong that I can’t even write their names, so I’m calling them Mump. And this is the ad accepted by The Washington Post and subsequently rejected:

What will it take to get the media to focus on the hostile takeover of our precious democracy? In an eloquent speech the other day, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker told the hard truth about what’s happening, including a humble confession illustrating the evil of the new regime. The last ten minutes is well worth watching and extrapolating from: “This is real,” he says. Maybe the press will listen if we come together and shut down the economy for a single day. What a great idea! Well, it’s a plan. Get on board:

“The 24 hour Economic Blackout

For one day we show them who really holds the power:

WHEN:

Thursday February 27th from Midnight till Friday the 28th Midnight

(A full 24 hours of the 28th)

12:00 AM to 12:00 AM

WHAT NOT TO DO:

Do not make any purchases

Do not shop online, or in-store

No Amazon, No Walmart, No Best Buy

Nowhere!

Do not spend money on:

Fast Food

Gas

Major Retailers

Do not use Credit or Debit Cards for non essential spending

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Only buy essentials if absolutely necessary 

(Food, Medicine, Emergency Supplies)

If you must spend, ONLY support small, local businesses.

SPREAD THE MESSAGE

Talk about it, post about it, and document your actions that day!

WHY THIS MATTERS!

~ Corporations and banks only care about their bottom line.

~ If we disrupt the economy for just ONE day, it sends a powerful message.

~ If they don’t listen we make the next blackout longer.

From The People’s Union website

Make sure you have enough groceries to feed yourself and your whole family for that 24-hour period. This week’s Sandwich of the Week included sharp white cheddar, kippered herring, and homemade pickles.

Also we need to be talking about the stories, our own or of people we know, who are suffering from the effects of these sudden layoffs. Soon we can share stories of people suffering medical crises from cuts to Medicaid, on the chopping block in the big House budget bill. Eventually we’ll be able to amplify the tragic stories of almost every American we know, except for our Billionaire friends. Well, I don’t personally have any billionaire friends, but most of us must, right? Or why else are we letting them get all the benefits from the proposed tax cuts which will save the government money at our (potentially lethal) expense?

So I’ll share the story of a couple of friends. As we share, let’s be sure to protect the identity and privacy of people we share about. A woman friend did a wonderful job for a contractor supporting CFPB, a job she loved and was great at. With the CFPB slaughter, she lost that job, was told one day to work from home the next week, and the next day told that her job was gone. She’s among the lucky: she has some savings, and a couple of other sources of minor income to help her limp along. Another friend, a young man, has been job-hunting in the DC area for a long time, and had just gone through a three week interview process that was going really well. He was so optimistic that this would be the job he’d get! It was with a government contractor. So guess what, now he’s back to square one. He lives on a very thin margin, and even volunteers at the food bank where he gets his groceries. Every day I hear from someone new about friends or family who have lost their jobs.

This is real. We have a very small window of opportunity to rally ourselves, our elected officials, and the press to see the truth of the dark hole this country is heading down. Speaking of holes, the burrow is active! And these are not gentle rock squirrel footprints; I think it’s a badger hole.

Damage is already done in our lives that will be hard to mitigate: further damage is inevitable, and could be irrevocable. It’s past time to WAKE UP and take action, take more action, and take more action. Resources for getting involved in the resistance abound. Start with Indivisible, Common Cause, ACLU, NRDC, Move On, or the nearest gathering of fierce old ladies or angry youth near you.

Once again, Topaz got too close for my comfort, and even for her own. As she stuck half herself down into the hole, I called “No, don’t do that!” and she ignored me, but a few beats later she squeaked and popped back out. I wish she could tell me what she met down in there. And oh, by the way…

The Power of the Pause

Feb7

Today I’m grateful for spending time in the forest. After a walk shortened by muddy conditions, I carried a lawn chair out into the trees and simply sat for awhile. Wren snuffled around amusing her nose, nibbling juniper berries, playing imaginary games; I sat and listened and looked; I breathed clean spring air.

I got back into the fray today, catching up on Today’s Edition with sound advice for sanity, making calls to my Senators, reading a few specific articles including this one about the thousands who demonstrated at state capitols yesterday across the country. But I paced myself. The day started with a member of Telesangha who lives in DC telling me that most residents in his building are federal employees who are panicking. So I led a meditation in which I repeated some sound advice recently shared with me from a talk by Oren Jay Sofer, on how to deal with news overwhelm:

  • 1. Do at least your minimum daily requirement for your body’s wellbeing, including exercise, sleep, and eating well.
  • 2. Ask yourself: Am I nourishing myself? This is essential. What gives you joy and replenishes you, emotionally, socially, and/or spiritually? Include this in your life.
  • 3. Set limits on your news consumption. (I would add, turn off all news notifications/alerts, so that you choose when you see the news.) Not only set constraints, but take in news intentionally. Ask yourself:
    • Why are you seeking information and what needs are are you trying to meet?
    • What specific areas of news do you need to follow?
    • What sources of news and info are you consulting?
  • 4. Action relieves anxiety: so being engaged, taking action in whatever ways are meaningful to us, helps us deal with our angst.
  • 5. Practice with Equanimity. Don’t suppress your responses and emotions, but learn how to feel them without feeding them. Your feelings reflect your values, so use those feelings to clarify your values, hold true to your values, and act in alignment with them in all areas of your life.

As I wandered through the woods I thought about how many of the Usurpers’ edicts have already been challenged or held up by the courts, by protests, and by legislators; and, how many outrageous pronouncements have already been diluted or walked back by the Usurper in Chief. We don’t really know what’s actually happening. The sowing of chaos is an intentional strategy to overload our cognitive capacities. As Hubbell writes, “Not everything that Trump and Musk have announced will actually occur or will be easy to implement. And we will have time to resist, fight back, slow walk, and seek injunctive relief from the courts. We can blunt some of the damage but cannot prevent it all. Still, we must do our best to protect as many people and programs as possible.”

In another post he points out, “Do not collapse the future into the present moment. The future comes at us one day at a time no matter how much we worry. The invariant pace of time gives us space and opportunity to plan, react, and adjust. Find community. Support others in distress. Lead by example….” And so in addition to Sofer’s advice on avoiding media overwhelm, I would add, just pause… When you hear or read the latest outrage, pause and breathe. Don’t react from your gut right away: that will quickly wreck your gut. Take a breath, wait for followup information to determine the actual urgency (and truth) of the situation, and then determine whether and how you can in alignment with your values and your abilities. And do not forget to nourish yourself so that you have the energy to engage in resistance.

Today’s cheese sandwich: chicken, potato chips, romaine and havarti, with mayo and mustard on light rye. Very nourishing indeed, along with the quiet time I spent eating it and reading a fine Irish novel. Then, back to work saving the world, one meditation at a time.

Rebecca Solnit wrote the day after the election, “They want you to feel powerless and to surrender and to let them trample everything and you are not going to let them. You are not giving up, and neither am I. The fact that we cannot save everything does not mean we cannot save anything and everything we can save is worth saving.“

Joyce Vance writes another excellent newsletter that gives wise and helpful legal perspective and interpretation on the coup and its ramifications, which she ends with the phrase “We’re in this together.” There are SO MANY informed and determined defenders of democracy out there working on the front lines. You and I do not have to know everything or do everything. I am one among many, and we are strong and resilient. More will join us every day as their lives become uncomfortable. Anything we do that is helpful, or kind, or compassionate; that is wise, that is true, that stands up to oppression and corruption, ripples out into the world in ways we may never know. Thinking about this, I recalled a poem I wrote years ago, early in my mindfulness journey. What we do matters.

Seeing Reality Clearly: Coup Edition

Feb4

Wren has rolled over after hearing about the coup d’état unfolding in Our Nation’s Capital. I am not rolling over, partly because I don’t look nearly so cute, but largely because I am enraged. Infuriated. Sick. Call it a Coup! Come on you sissypants mainstream media, Call it a Coup! I’ve doubled down on my Jessica Craven calls to Congress, but I admit, watching Drumpf declare war on Gaza tonight chills me to the bone. I know there have been protests in LA against the ICE raids, and a large rally at the Treasury building in DC this afternoon, but for some reason I’m not seeing media coverage of these events as I would have expected to during the past administration. There must be rallies and protests happening around the country. Oh wait, there are! You can find events near you HERE.

I wish I had a new puzzle to help me through the coup this week, but I’ll share my journey with the puzzle that helped me through last week when the news felt bad enough — but not this bad — bad enough that I sold some retirement stocks to have a little more cash in that account. Today I withdrew some actual cash from my bank account. I’m grateful that I have a little cushion from years of saving something. I told the teller I was worried about my social security now that Elon Musk has taken over the treasury. And that was even before I learned the details of the kids who have access to the computer system of the entire US money supply. How the fuck did this even happen? In her insightful and inspiring Substack essay tonight, Joyce Vance quotes renowned historian Heather Cox Richardson, “The replacement of our constitutional system of government with the whims of an unelected private citizen is a coup. The U.S. president has no authority to cut programs created and funded by Congress, and a private citizen tapped by a president has even less standing to try anything so radical.” She goes on to write:

“But long-term success is not a foregone conclusion with coups, especially when citizens are unwilling to accept them. Already, we are seeing signs Americans have no intention of letting it happen here. It’s a slow, still-fragile start, but elected officials and American citizens seem to be figuring it out…. There is still plenty of fight left in our democracy, but it’s an all-hands-on-deck moment. This isn’t a coup with tanks in the streets and mobs overrunning government offices. It’s a quieter coup, a billionaires’ coup. Talk with the people around you about what’s happening and what it means if they’re not aware…. Call it what it is: A coup. Let’s make sure it doesn’t succeed.”

Notice the horse whimsy in the barn, next to the sunflower… and how the tree leaves fit together, below.

It’s taking every single mindfulness skill in my toolbox to get through each day so far this week. I’m making sure to step outside numerous times a day to simply take in a reality more beautiful and fundamental and true than any of the chaos. This is our precious planet, and to wake up alive is a gift. No matter what else happens.

To contemplate and cultivate connection is essential, with other people and with the natural world.

I started the puzzle with the barn because the colors made it obvious; then worked on the tree and the fenceline simultaneously. This puzzle had beautiful color blocks that made grouping the 500+ pieces easy. Since I only glanced at the boxtop before starting, it took me awhile to recognize the Boulder Flatirons as the red rocks in the foothills, and suddenly all the outdoor enthusiasts made even more sense. I wonder what Boulder is doing about the Coup? Did I mention you can find events near you HERE? We are Americans! We aren’t going to stand for this!

I recognized the rock climber because he looks just like a boyfriend from long ago, complete with the thin climbing shoes and the little chalk bag hanging off his hip. And those muscles! I’m grateful to know, even without looking on social media, that my old boyfriend is equally enraged as I am.

I wish I had the luxury to lie around and pick daisies, but that’s the kind of oblivious laziness that Muskrump are counting on the American people to indulge in. We can’t spiritual bypass, we can’t ignore like the bank teller who said, “I don’t pay attention to news,” we can’t stick our heads in the sand of a puzzle. As Oren Jay Sofer writes in his recent book Your Heart Was Made for This:

“When we habitually override our limits and push for productivity, all the while beset with distressing news, permission to do nothing is a welcome relief… But emphasizing relaxation to the exclusion of determination and action is a grave mistake. If we stop at relaxation, we miss the immense benefits of inner cultivation and risk abdicating our responsibilities to one another, future generations, and the planet. Relaxation and ease are essential in life and on the contemplative path, but they must be balanced with wholehearted resolve.”

Right now is the time to rally all your resolve. Action is the antidote to Anxiety. Thousands of excellent leaders are gathering tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions of grassroots activists. There is something you can DO, somewhere near you or from the security of your own home. Please just do something! Follow some of these leaders, those who resonate with you, whose voices bring you comfort and inspiration. Subscribe to Jessica Craven’s newsletter Chop Wood, Carry Water to learn a range of actions you can take each day to help protect America from this neo-Nazi takeover. Read this article by Rebecca Solnit to understand how the simplest actions of daily living –like mentioning to a news-phobic teller that there’s trouble in the money world– can make a difference. She may have dismissed me in my ‘Drag is Not a Crime’ ballcap but I bet I got her thinking, at least for a minute.

And, while you still can, savor every single cup of coffee, every single pot of tea, every single cheese sandwich, every single meal you’re blessed to set on your table. Finding stability in the midst of uncertainty is also a form of resistance, and takes practice, courage, and resolve. Seeing reality clearly can be painful but it’s fundamental to wise action. We cannot know what the outcome of this coup will be: unforeseen eventualities and unintended consequences may result in a pleasant surprise. But I imagine that hard times are coming. As Robert Hubbell says, “If you are suffering from a renewed sense of dread, take strength from the fact that we survived the first time around. And take heart from the fact that tens of millions of Americans are battle-tested, dedicated defenders of democracy.” Join them. Join us.

Last week’s Sandwich of the Week involved fried pepperoni that was getting old in the freezer for lack of homemade pizza, and pickled cherry tomatoes from three years ago needing to make room in the pantry. Also avocado, romaine, homemade light rye bread, and Havarti. And of course, God’s gift to the sandwich, mayonnaise. Do something kind for yourself today, and do something strong for our country.