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Wren always has plenty of energy. It’s a joy to wake to her enthusiasm for each day, and participate in her boundless curiosity. We enjoyed our first walk to the rim in a long time, appreciating the ice, a vivid young piñon sprout, and the first burst of Indian Paintbrush from the desert soil.



In the garden proper, at least a few rows of greens are thriving, though whether the carrots and beets will sprout remains to be seen. I’m grateful for the success of this experimental New Year’s planting, and gradually exposing the greens to unfiltered sunlight and precipitation, while still pulling their blanket over them most nights. This afternoon a couple of slow, melting inches of snow fell, enough to give them good moisture before I covered them in anticipation of a cold overnight. The hardy tulips are thriving.


We were able to enjoy a few nice meditations outside, with the cheerful songs of house finches, and inquisitive squawks and chips of northern flickers and mountain bluebirds. There’s a sense of sadness and loss, as I realize that bird songs are fewer than they used to be; and a sense of longing to be where there are more birds both in number and diversity.

I’m grateful for another successful loaf of bread, which I was able to share with a friend passing through town. In this loaf I mixed some dried tarragon, which gives it just a hint of herbal flavor. Above, after the overnight rise, silky and malleable…

… until the third fold out of the bowl, when the dough strengthens enough to resist the pull of hands, and shapes into a firm ball after the fourth fold. Ninety minutes later, it’s increased in size and smoothed its surface, all through the alchemy of microorganisms.


After the first twenty minutes in the Dutch oven at 450℉, I removed the lid to allow for continued expansion, resulting in another gorgeous loaf. Life’s simple pleasures. Throughout the week, the awareness of mortality has been front and center, as I taught a unit on Identity and Transformation, shared in gratitude for our friend’s miraculous survival, reckoned with my own attitude toward my body, and heard from cousins about their mother’s interment at Arlington National Cemetery. I was especially grateful during our monthly zoom this afternoon to learn more about my maternal grandfather, who was persona non grata as I grew up. I knew only two things about him: he was a dangerous drunk, and my mother was terrified of him. Her brother’s children were raised with a lot more information, which they shared with her sister’s daughter and me this afternoon; the first time either of us had heard more than a few words about him. Our grandmother never spoke of him to us, nor did our mothers.
Our male cousins were able to shed a new perspective on the silence. They had been raised to respect him, by hearing about his military accomplishments; and they knew some horrific things that befell him during World War I, which opened my heart with compassion in retrospect. How wonderful to receive this gift of perspective and some healing of generational trauma. Yes, he was scary and drunken as our mothers grew up; and though his wife loved him, she divorced him to protect the family. He suffered from PTSD long before it was named, back when it was called shellshocked. We learned today that not only had he been gassed, he’d been left for dead in a pile of bodies. When they went to move his corpse, he groaned, and was taken for medical attention. They had already cut his initials into his big toe to identify the body. Jesus. What we’re capable of, then and now. Not that much has changed in human aggression, except for scale and technology. I’m grateful for every peaceful day in my life, for every quiet week.


I’m grateful that I got the new Covid vaccine today at the Safeway pharmacy and am now better protected from potential infection, hospitalization, or death from this virus. I know I’ll probably pay for this protection for a day or two with fatigue and soreness, but I’ll take that any day over lung damage and the possibility of another longterm virus. I’m grateful, too, when I look out over this beautiful little canyon, that I was able to offer it some protection as well, when I put the portion under my stewardship into a conservation easement in 2006.

Wren surveys her domain. She may get shivers being that close to the edge on that ledge, but I get shivers when I look over it at the landscape that landed me here. I first saw this canyon in summer and fell in love with it, then bought it that winter; over time I was able to preserve it for wildlife in perpetuity. I wish I could protect the entire length of it, but I’m grateful I could at least protect the middle third. Over the years I’ve seen deer, bobcats, coyotes, foxes, bears, and mountain lions in and along the canyon, as well as a few stray dogs and a couple of lost humans. I’ve seen it in drought and in flood and in ice. The past couple of years, since the big dogs died, I haven’t spent as much time down here as I used to, but this morning the shivers reminded me what a remarkable blessing it is, and I hope Wren will drag me down here more often this autumn.




I’m grateful for Spring at Last! Suddenly, after the long wait, just as in This is Happiness, precipitation ceased and sun emerged just in time for Easter. Today was beautiful from start to finish, and we spent as much time outside as possible. I hooked up a couple of hoses for the first time since November to rinse off some stuff. Wren made the most of the snowmelt by rolling in every possible blend of dirt, and wasn’t happy when I lifted her onto the table to document it.




I’m grateful for delicious mushrooms, and for having broadened my taste for them over years of living here, and knowing mushroom gatherers, and having gathered my own a few times. I’m grateful for a magical, memorable experience one time up on Black Mesa with the Willetts when we gathered abundant chanterelles. These are basic white mushrooms stuffed with a simple blend of soft butter, chopped fresh parsley, shallots, garlic, and panko breadcrumbs, seasoned with salt and pepper, drizzled with olive oil, and baked at 425ºF for about fifteen minutes. I ate the whole bowl.
I’m grateful not only for mushrooms to eat, but for Fantastic Fungi of all kinds, in many ways the glue that holds our world together; and grateful for this marvelous movie, and how it’s opened the eyes and minds of a lot more people to the importance of fungi.


Finger-combing. I love it. I love the word, and I love doing it in the garden. I can’t remember when I first learned the concept. I’m sure it had to do with hair, finger-combing hair when a brush or comb was not at hand. I learned years ago it’s the best way to freshen lambs’ ears in the garden, and it’s so much fun! With loose wrists and spread fingers you just sweep through the old dead leaves and they fly off the plant and scatter around it, revealing the tough-though-tender-looking new green leaves. I’ve always waited until spring to “cut back” the lambs’ ears so that I can finger-comb them instead of try to trim them with clippers.
One advantage to leaving most of the fall cleanup until spring is it turns out there are a lot of other plants you can finger-comb instead of clip, because the dry stalks or stems have softened just enough to break off easily. So you save your arthritic thumbs the work of squeezing clippers, and engage your whole hand, both of them in fact, in the more tactile experience of finger-combing. Other plants that respond well to finger-combing are partridge-feather, silver horehound, all those low-growing fuzzy-leaved plants similar to lambs’ ears, and anything else whose stems aren’t too woody. I spent much of my gardening time this week finger-combing grasses, gallardia, poppy mallow, and even the pond plants.

Partridge feather with miniature irises and the hunk of petrified wood that June Stewart, my landlady in Jensen, Utah, gave me twenty-five years ago.

Curly rushes, cattails, and water iris, a mess after winter, benefited from finger-combing yesterday.

Finger-combing the pond plants revealed the goldfishes’ favorite hiding place, but something unusual was going on… A Goldfish Vigil, apparently.

The Snowfish lay dying on her side on the pond floor, as her cohorts and spawn all hovered over her.
I am inordinately fond of my goldfish. I may have mentioned this before. Five years ago I bought eight feeder-fish for 28 cents each at the pet store, and settled them into the pond. Four of them died within the first week, but the other four have thrived, and founded a colony of generations of spawn. I named the originals, Snowfish, Lou (after the saleslady who kindly let me pick each of the eight), Finn (also white but with an orange spot at the base of his tail fin), and AmytheFish, the little red-haired girl, after my childhood friend who told me the fastest way to kill a goldfish was to name it. AmytheFish has defied the odds, as have her companions. Snowfish is the first of these originals to meet her demise, but she leaves Snowfish Junior and a handful of other snow-white fish behind to take her place.
At least one new generation a year shows up first as tiny grey fry an inch or less long. Many of these feed frogs or snakes or salamanders, or indeed even their progenitors, but always a few survive. Over a period of time, the grey fry grow into their colors, mostly orange, but some white, some black and orange (the Halloweens, which usually lose their black eventually), and some orange and white, like Snout, and Snout Junior, who each are all orange with a white, of course, snout. This year, I think a couple of the Halloweens may keep their black, also, and add a new variety to the gene pool, as they’ve exceeded the size when most of them lose their black. Ridiculous, I say, that I should be so invested in these little creatures. But I am, and so I was sad yesterday to see Snowfish lying on her side when I finger-combed the rushes. Then this afternoon, when I went to the pond to meditate, I noticed that Lou, Finn, Snout, and dozens of smaller fish, were all hovering over Snowfish, as though sitting vigil with her as she transitioned. It was very moving. Despite the possibility that I instantly recognized that they might just be waiting for her to die so they could begin feasting on her flesh. Oh well. Either way, an interesting phenomenon.

Meanwhile, AmytheFish swam alone at the far end of the pond, alone in her grief perhaps, or maybe just because.

This week I removed the insulation panels from the beehive, extending their doorway a couple of inches on each side, and revealing the propolis they laid down to seal the winter doorway (upper left). Also shown in the center, a propolis track along which, with the winter door in place, the bees came in and out.
All the bees I’ve photographed so far this spring have been new bees, evidenced by their pristine unbattered wings. Back in early February, there was a great buzz of activity around the hive door which I noticed in passing. This was during the worst of my dizzy-head, and so I didn’t pay too much attention. It never occurred to me that they might be swarming that early. I’ve since learned that indeed they could have swarmed in February, and I wonder if they did. The line they constructed might have been an indicator for the new bees, much like the mound these bees built when they first arrived in the hive nearly two years ago; I noticed then that they crawled over the mound and spent some time on it leaving and returning to the hive. Then after awhile, some bees did that while others zoomed straight out and straight in. Presumably as the bees became familiar with the hive and the course in and out they no longer needed the marker mound. I think this line served the same purpose. Within a few days after removing the winter panels, the bees had removed the line, and are now using the corner of the door again. Amazing.

But where are they going? Several new patches of irises have opened, but bee visits to them have tapered off. This bee is drinking from between flowers on the narrow-leaved irises, the last of the four varieties to open.

The next flower to bloom, European pasque-flower, opened just three days ago, and so far I’ve not caught any bees on it. There are a few more patches, and I hope the bees or someone will discover them as they continue to bloom.

But where are the bees going? They come and go from the hive at a great rate, many straight east into the woods. They must have found a new source of food; perhaps some wildflowers are beginning to open.

And with the advent of Spring, Ice Canyon begins to melt. Winter’s splendor gives way to the joy of Spring.