Anticipating several cold, rainy days last week I started a new puzzle that Amy’s mom had sent me. Amy and Judy visited me at Auntie’s way back in 2013, another world ago, and we all did our first Liberty puzzle together. I’m grateful that Judy continues to enjoy Liberty puzzles, and that she did not especially like this one so she passed it along.

Because we actually got only a few hours of cold, rainy weather, the puzzle took me awhile to complete, and I finished it yesterday just in time for Zoom Cooking with Amy. I wasn’t crazy about the color scheme of this puzzle, and people are not my favorite whimsy pieces, but it was new and free, and there was a lovely symmetry to doing a train puzzle from Judy, since our first Liberty was a different train puzzle. And the puzzle itself overcame my initial judgments because it was delightful, fun, and every bit of it filled with story. So many stories, all over the puzzle! And all the little stories fitting together, piece by piece and then segment by segment. The engineer in the window with the bandits shooting outside, the guy falling out of the boxcar, the passengers being herded out, and the little band of people in the distance – are those the bandit hunters? And the whimsies: the little banker running for his life, the bandits, the horses, the maidens in distress…

It looked like it would be pretty easy, and I assembled the title at the top and the subtitle at the bottom, and then it got more complicated. Especially when the side edges came together quickly and I had to slide all the pieces out of the way and gently pull the top down to connect the sides. After that the real puzzling began.

Five days later the puzzle was done, and it was time for Butter Week. There was another lovely symmetry in finishing the puzzle late afternoon that Amy’s mom had sent, and then zoom cooking with Amy half an hour later. I am so grateful for my oldest friend and her mother!

I wanted to make butter candles from a recipe I spotted on instagram; Amy wanted to make butternut squash gnocchi. We supported each other’s choices. For the candles, which we didn’t make but I still might, we melted two sticks of butter and simmered with fresh sage, garlic cloves, half a pear, peppercorns, coriander seeds, and a pinch of salt. I was grateful to have fresh sage from my herb pots, garlic from the garden, and pears from the Bad Dogs’ tree. I ate most of the other half but mashed a little bit to throw into a wine cooler.

We had pre-cooked the squash on Friday. Amy cut hers into cubes and roasted it, while I chose to roast mine whole. I am averse to cutting up hard winter squash because it’s hard, and even though I’m skillful with a kitchen knife I always get the willies when my knife is met with serious resistance. Hers didn’t take long to roast in pieces but lost a lot of moisture, making her dough very firm; I didn’t even ask how long it took to cut it all up. Mine took almost two hours to roast whole, but was a breeze to scoop out and mash the next day. My squash had so much moisture that I had to keep adding flour as I kneaded the dough and finally called it quits with a very soft dough that was still a little sticky to roll and cut.

Both of our dinner bowls were delicious. We dressed the gnocchi so simply, with some sage butter and grated parmesan. Another successful zoom cooking! After dinner I admired the puzzle some more, and took a few detail shots for fun.

I had started another one-day mock wonder bread loaf yesterday also, and had to burn a fire in the woodstove to get a spot warm enough for it to bulk rise. By the time we finished dinner it was ready to roll up and plunk into the pan, and supposedly needed only 3-5 hours to rise before baking. But it was too late for that, so I left it in the mudroom overnight, and it rose beautifully over the next twelve hours. This morning I put it in the oven and then dressed a couple of leftover waffles with blueberries, Greek yogurt and organic maple syrup to enjoy while it baked.

After breakfast, and brushing the bread with butter, I disassembled the puzzle. As I carefully separated the pieces I once again appreciated the artistry, even as I listened to Pema Chodron respond to people’s questions about “How to Confront Fear.” How did the pioneers confront their fear of railroad bandits, and all the other fears that came with the choices they made? How do we deal with the perfectly natural fears of death, of degenerative disease, of living in these troubled times? How do we confront our fears about the current bandits in this rogue administration who are stealing our rights, our livelihoods, our money, our social safety nets, our very democracy? The answers always come down to seeing reality clearly, responding with wisdom and compassion, and taking action where you can.

Coming together in community, knowing we’re not alone, and taking action together are all antidotes to anxiety: Join a No Kings Day protest near you this Saturday, October 18!

After a morning that felt like a full day, it was lunchtime, and I sliced into the wonderful bread and made a BLT. So simple, so delicious! Though cool, it was gorgeous outside and I sat on the patio in the warm sun, reading Bill Bryson’s “In a Sun-burned Country,” laughing out loud at his travels through Australia.

Later I heard about the overseas travels of one cousin who’d been to Germany and two who’d been to Portugal. A third cousin reported her safe return from a week in NYC. I am grateful that all my travels today were vicarious.

Even later an unpromised gift came to me in a surprise visit by new friends who brought a bagful of geraniums and joined Wren and me for a walk to the canyon in the late day light. They felt the magic, and marveled at the ancient junipers, and nourished my heart. More gratitude today than grief, as my understanding continues to grow. Tomorrow could be different; tomorrow is not guaranteed.

“The ability to wake up to another new day — one with which we will surely need to wrestle and reckon, but one that will also teach and transform us … this is the unpromised gift for which to be grateful.”

Kristi Nelson, from Grateful Living’s Word of the Day