The apricot tree is popping! In just three days since her haircut she’s bursting with spring blossoms. I’ve made sure to savor this ephemeral sight today. Though there are plenty more buds on each twig, winter weather is returning over the next week starting tonight when it could dip below freezing. A few days later snow is predicted and lows in the mid-20s. Fingers crossed enough flowers hang on through freezes to bring a healthy crop this year.

Though I’m thrilled there is also sadness. I have only seen a few honeybees so far this year. There are black flies hatching everywhere, but where I should have seen bees all over the crocuses and mini irises, I didn’t see more than a couple. Each time I checked the weather app today I thought, Where will we get our weather forecasts if they shut down NOAA? The stupidity and cruelty of the regime have seeped into every conversation and simmer beneath every conscious thought. I have moments of peace and flickers of joy, and I work hard for every one of them.

Almost everyone I know is doing something to resist the abuse of this incompetent, incomprehensible administration. Garden Buddy bought a bunch of sunflower packets to take with her to the HANDS OFF! demonstration next Saturday. Find one near you here! If you’re not doing anything yet, you can start by paying attention: You are being gaslighted. Everything we counted on about America is getting torn apart. This is really happening. We have got to fight back.

Given the already overloaded interdependent systems on our fragile earth, this full frontal assault on American democracy and human decency feels like the total collapse of our species is imminent. I’m too tired to enumerate all the unraveling threads, but I feel especially dedicated to staying physically healthy right now. The US was a keystone in public health across the globe, and every agency that held infectious disease at bay has been crippled or dismantled. Whether it’s mosquitoes, or measles, or a mutant AIDS strain, an Avian flu or some other crossover event, the elimination of US research, scientists, and health professionals on the ground around the world makes every human on the planet more susceptible to the next pandemic. I’m going to get my spring Covid shot next week because who knows if there will be another one? Cuts to Medicaid alone would decimate rural hospital and clinic systems, hampering healthcare in my county, and yours too if you live anywhere in rural America.

Some things I’m grateful for besides apricot blossoms, my strange little creature, learning how to knit cables, and red tulips, are that I got my hip replaced last fall (knowing that Medicare might collapse), that I started taking Social Security as soon as I was eligible (knowing that Social Security might collapse), and that I’ve had a good run this lifetime.

I’m also grateful for comic relief wherever I can find it, as in this musical message from the Marsh Family. They have a slew of great parodies on Youtube, doing their part to speak out and make a difference. Sadly, their Bohemian Rhapsody parody about J6 didn’t swing the electorate, but it was a smashing effort and well worth six minutes of your time. Their creativity, Garden Buddy’s sunflowers, our local Indivisible chapter’s dedication and companionship, my good neighbors, and my irate friends around the country all keep me from just hiding my head under a blanket.

My words for the year are Courage and Resilience. Because why not? As the Dalai Lama says, “Be optimistic. It feels better.” As W.S. Merwin wrote, “On the last day of the world, I would want to plant a tree.” And as Mary Oliver wrote, “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” From that love you will find the courage to act, and the resilience to wake up and start over again each day.